Category Archives: gaming

The Saucy Tifa Parade Keeps on Coming !

We recently looked at some sublime Helly von Valentine Tifa Lockhart Final Fantasy VII cosplay (here), and now there’s even more to enjoy with Shirogane Sama’s take on Tifa! Enjoy…

You can support all her work on Patreon here.

Quiet! Hottest Metal Gear Solid 5 Cosplay Ever!

Kojima claimed he’d made a unique rather than overly sexualised character in Metal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Pain’s Quiet. And that uniqueness has made her a hit with overly sexualised cosplayers!

This latest – and quite possibly best – example comes from the incredible Vlada Lutsak, aka V is for Vlada, aka tniwe. Seems like she gets around doing it too, but you can find her on Instagram here or Patreon here!

As a bonus, here’s a Quiet in Sniper Wolf’s skin version she did earlier!

Helly von Valentine – Priceless Zelda Cosplay (Very NSFW)

You can see why Link keeps coming back for more punishment every time there’s a new Legend of Zelda game!

But there’s more to this Princess Zelda cosplay than meets the eye, although you might argue there’s not a great deal that could possibly be left to the imagination! Actually, these glorious pics are just previews of a monthly Helly von Valentine Patreon-only set that’s sure to contain even more sauce than these!

If you’re desperate for the rest – and why wouldn’t you be – then be sure to head over here.

And here’s some bonus pics from a previous Gerudo Zelda set!

Check out more at her DeviantArt page too.

Street Fighter V Chun-Li Beach Statues

Here’s a couple of things you Street Fighter pervs are going to love having on display in your parent’s basement!

At only $455 each, while their limited stocks last, Sideshow and Pop Culture Shock Collectibles have two new 1:4 scale Chun-Li statues…

First up is the Street Fighter V Season Pass statue.

Then we have the a Player Two Battle EX variant.

I think I got those the right way around, but you get the message if not. And you can get your dirty mitts on them from here.

Jessica Nigri – Animal Crossing Tom Nook Cosplay (NSFW)

Fantastic set of homemade Tom Nook “outfits” that you’re thankfully unlikely to see him wearing in Animal Crossing. There are few better than Jessica Nigri at this stuff, and you’ll find her here on Instagram.

Very NSFW Tifa Lockhart Cosplay by Helly von Valentine

This has to be the very final fantasy for all you Final Fantasy nerds!

Helly von Valentine, aka Disharmonica, is without doubt the absolute finest cosplayer on the planet today. There’s no question that we’ll cover her Elvira, Nier Automata, Zelda, Mario and more work in future, but for now we’re going current affairs with one of gaming’s hottest right now, Tifa Lockhart from Final Fantasy 7.

As said in the title, this is going to be NSFW, or put another way, an incredible piece of erotic cosplay art from one of its finest artists. Enjoy…

You can pick up the Tifa erocosplay hardback photobook from Helly’s Etsy site here.

Also be sure to check out Helly everywhere, maybe easing your way in with Instagram right here.

The Curiouser Top Ten Games of 2019

Also published on my retro gaming site, Retro Arcadia.

The best games released in 2019 were obviously the Switch versions of Elevator Action, Bomb Jack, Track & Field, Hyper Sports, Yie Ar Kung Fu, Virtua Racing and Out Run (which I finally finished after decades of trying, then obsessed over finishing every possible route). I also played and finished the seminal Final Fantasy 7 for the first time, also on Switch – still tells a great story and plays fine even if it’s not the looker it once was. Just like me! The Konami Contra, Castlevania and Arcade Anniversary Collections were also fantastic, giving me all sorts of fun, especially with my old flames Scramble and Nemesis, as well as TwinBee, which I can’t believe I’ve been missing out on since about 1985. And with SNES arriving on Switch, after 35 hours in just 10 days following its launch, found all 96 exits in Super Mario World.

Everything else is just filler, but as it’s new(ish) filler…

1. Baba is You (Nintendo Switch)

Fiendishly clever logic puzzler that gives you the ability to manipulate the rules of the level to reach a goal. Baba is You, Water is Defeat, Wall is Stop, Flag is Win, etc. All written in the single screen environments as individual words for you to push about and change, so if Flag is Win and Wall is Stop and the flag is surrounded by a wall, how about pushing “Win” around so Wall becomes Win and you can just move your little guy to the wall instead! I’ve never played anything so creative, so brain-busting and so satisfying when you eventually work out a puzzle – and quite how they came up with so many is beyond me. Absolute genius! And the hugely simplistic art style, which works great because it keeps you focussed on the puzzle, reminded me of the rubbish Eastern European cartoons you’d get on kid’s holiday TV in the 70’s, which I’d completely forgotten even existed!

2. Bleak Sword (Apple Arcade on iPad)

This is an absolute dark fantasy joy! One of the first games I picked up during my Apple Arcade trial, thanks to being grabbed by a screenshot of its super-minimalist monochrome art style that, combined with some great sound, somehow manages to invoke real atmosphere on a big iPad screen. It plays simply and beautifully on a PS4 controller, now supported on iPad with the release of iOS13. Very addictive, and the equally minimalist RPG style has a wonderful flow to it, whether played in bitesize chunks or extended sessions. Unlike its influence Dark Souls, it had me completely hooked within ten minutes, and it very quickly became clear this was coming from out of nowhere to become one of my favourite games of the year!

3. Resident Evil 2 Remake (PS4)

I played this almost immediately after finishing the original Resident Evil Remaster on PS4 – a game I bought day one decades ago on the original Playstation but barely ever scratched the surface of. Its old stylings had definitely outstayed their welcome by the end, but only heightened my appreciation for this full on remake of its sequel. I’d loved the 30-minute one-shot demo before release, and the full game didn’t disappoint – looks great, sounds great, and together with the game’s brain-testing narrative quickly builds up this incredible horror atmosphere and tension that just gets worse (in a good way). Especially when that big dude starts following you about. It doesn’t control like a 90’s nightmare anymore either!

4. Lonely Mountains: Downhill (Xbox One)

I took up an incredible £1 for almost five months of Game Pass offer on my son’s Xbox One, which included this equally incredible game that I’d previously been fully prepared to go full price on for PlayStation or Switch. You’re riding down a series of increasingly tough but beautifully stylised descents on your mountain bike, completing various levels of challenge on each. It is a bit like Trials from a different, low-polygon perspective as you explore every inch of each mountain to optimise your ride, with similar levels of infuriating difficulty and addictiveness. The controls are so tight, and the exploration, experimentation and general obsession needed to achieve the expert times is just brilliantly realised.

5. Graveyard Keeper (PS4)

If you asked me what ingredients would make my perfect game, Stardew Valley in a graveyard would be high up on the list. And this is pretty much that, once you get past the sometimes overwhelming busy work that’s teaching you (over many hours) about the tools you need to tart up your graveyard, morgue, house, crematorium, church and pretty much everything else in your surroundings whilst running an endless supply of often intertwining quests; all in a bid to get back to your real world. Nowhere near done with this yet but this beautiful world is inhabited by a definite graveyard keeper.

6. Trials Rising (PS4)

Speaking of Trials, here’s a great new entry into the Trials series with big production values and wonderful attention to detail; the most high fidelity controls you could hope for as you delicately juggle weight, brakes and gas across a massive variety of courses and challenges; and some great slapstick moments resulting from the hard as nails gameplay. I just wish I was playing it on Switch rather than PS4, but unfortunately there was simply no comparison, at launch at least.

7. Konami Pixel Puzzle Collection (iPad)

I came across this in Retro Gamer mag when I was on holiday in July. I’d never worked out what Picross / nonogram / etc. games were all about, but the fact that this went back through Konami’s 50 year history made it worth finding out. It’s completely free with some very unobtrusive static ads for recent anniversary collections, PES, etc. when you compete a puzzle, of which there are about five hundred, from simple to serious time-sinks, that all reference every Konami game you can think of and more. Great tutorial too if you’ve never tried one before – after which I got obsessed and spent about 50 hours on this, then Picross on Switch, Mario Picross on Game Boy… a whole new genre to love!

8. Cuphead (Nintendo Switch)

The hand-drawn and hand-animated 1930’s cartoon style graphics are probably the most stunning (and often most surreal and sinister) I’ve ever seen in a game. The 3-hour live big-band soundtrack is expertly played and fits that theme perfectly. But normal people will have torn their hair out long before they see most of any of that because it’s also one of the most brutal games you’ll ever play. You spend hours learning every nuance of the boss’ movements and attacks, and you’re still not good enough to beat it; then, of course, you get close enough to think it’s possible, and more hours later you do it, just to start again at the next one! And it’s perfectly suited to the Switch rather than the pervert platforms it first came out a couple of years ago.

9. Wargroove (Nintendo Switch)

I’ve tried these turn-based strategy games many times over the years and have always been crap at them, but always looked at Advance Wars and thought it might have been the one that hooked me had I not completely missed out on it. Then along came Wargroove, effectively giving me the same opportunity to find out. It’s clearly a great example of the genre and worthy successor to Advance Wars, but as much as I enjoyed it, I still don’t really get it!

10. Speed Demons (Apple Arcade on iPad)

Another great advert for Apple Arcade, this is a gorgeous top down racer with huge nods to both Spy Hunter and Super Sprint that feels absolutely fantastic to play on the touchscreen, less so on a PS4 controller. Split into loads of chapters, each with Burnout-style challenges from simple races against Speed Demons to takedowns and escapes, all taking place on a packed, neon-infused motorway. Not much to it but who cares when it’s this much fun.