Nic The Pixie Super Hot Tifa Lockhart Cosplay

Nic the Pixie is a master of transformation, and also a master of hot, and combined we’ve got a classic set of Final Fantasy 7 Tifa Lockhart slutted-up cosplay!

Turns out she does a pretty mean more traditional Tifa too…

Check out Nic on Twitter, @Nichameleon, where she gets a bit fruitier than Instagram allows!

Helly von Valentine Nails Naked Lady Dimitrescu (NSFW)

As big a fan I am of Helly von Valentine / Disharmonica, and as utterly excited about Resident Evil Village, I’m not sure this is her finest work, although her finest work does eventually make everything right! I don’t know, it’s not screaming Resident Evil at me – more hottest girl at the wedding!

Anyway, you can get your filthy mitts on the full hi-res set at Helly’s Patreon page here, where this Lady Dimitrescu shoot is her February 2021 exclusive set. And here’s a preview…

Vengeance of Vampirella #15 – Back With a Vengeance!

Not sure why, but until this week’s Vengeance of Vampirella offering I’ve not been massively inspired by this or any other of the recent Dynamite cosplay variant covers that I’ve enjoyed perving over here in the past!

Issue 15 restores balance to the busty, skimpy, red and white force of beyond nature though, not just with a fantastic, back to form

Straight from mouth of Dynamite, the mystery of Adam Van Helsing’s return intensifies, as Vampirella continues to struggle with the bestial side of her nature. Mistress Nyx realizes that Vampirella isn’t the only enemy she should be concerned about. And Lord Mazarin embraces his gift from the Lords of Chaos and the world slips that much closer towards oblivion.

Cool story, and there’s a really nice set of other covers to enjoy this month too… I really like the last one below – reminds me of Castlevania!

The Best of 1987 – Heather Locklear

As we’re now way too far into 2021 for my last post here to be a look back at it favourite games of 2020, I’m just going for a really cheap post about when Heather Locklear won 1987. Enjoy.

Retro Arcadia Top Ten Games of 2020

Just for completeness, here’s our top ten games of 2020, previously published on our retro gaming sister site, Retro Arcadia.

Retro Arcadia

My annual list here is supposed to be screaming next-gen this year, but after much deliberation that helped me make up my mind I wanted an Xbox over PS5, it also made me realise I wanted Game Pass and not a new machine. Enter my 13-year old son wanting to replace his Xbox One with a fancy new gaming PC for Christmas, as well as no actual next-gen games for Series X yet anyway, and here we are! Still pains me not having a launch-day PlayStation for the first time in its history though…

As much as my game of the year for 2020 did affect and continues to affect me – and has made the very unusual leap for anything new into my top 25 games of all time – it’s not the best! Or even second best! It took me a while, but finally properly playing Silent Hill…

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Curiouser Top Ten Albums of 2020

I think my favourite release of the year was that beautiful 40th anniversary re-release of Joy Division’s Closer on heavyweight clear vinyl; there was some lovely 12-inch stuff from them too! But while I can never resist including something new that’s actually old here, I’m mostly sticking with a surprisingly strong set of new stuff from a surprisingly wide range of some of my favourite artists. Top year!

1. Greg Dulli – Random Desire

The lead singer of my favourite living band – though The Afghan Whigs are interchangeable with The Damned depending on the day of the week – on top solo form with something less layered and more laid back (think kind of Dinosaur Jr vibe) than you’d get with his wonderful day job. Just a really great alternative rock album, and up there with anything he’s done, in whatever form, since the late eighties.

2. Bob Mould – Blue Hearts

Can’t believe you made me choose between Dulli and Mould! Another brilliant piece of alternative rock from another master of the craft, capturing essences of both his former outfits Sugar and Hüsker Dü. Which means soaring, melodic pop juxtaposed by gritty, angry punk vibes. Amazing that there’s just no let up in this guy, and while he never strays far from the beaten path, the quality never drops and more of the same is always welcome here.

3. Prince and the Revolution: Live

Newly released (so it counts!), together with what must be one of the greatest live music videos ever recorded, from the absolute pinnacle of Prince’s creativity and showmanship in 1985. This is a masterclass in how you play live, as valid today as it was then, and I can’t think of anyone in the world that could possibly equal it. Incredible.

4. Macabre: Carnival of Killers

Several things fuelled what might be deemed a slightly unhealthy lifelong fascination with serial killers throughout the 1980’s – the hunt for the Yorkshire Ripper, reading The Final Solution (it’s about his ancestor and it’s not!), a magazine called Murder Casebook and Gloom by murder metal thrashers Macabre. It’s ironic, therefore, that their new album would drop on the day the Yorkshire Ripper died. It’s more of the same and it’s exactly what you want, and there’s not many thrash albums that will put a smile on your face like this one does this year.

5. Night Crowned – Imperius Viam

Really tight, really theatrical, really inventive blackened death metal. Who’d have known you could make flamenco guitar (and some bongos too, I think) sound so evil? There’s moments where you just don’t want some of these songs to end, such is the clash of aggression with melody and brutality with atmosphere. And there’s nearly an hour of it!

6. Violet Cold – Noir Kid

I know I’ve said similar things about Violet Cold’s previous releases, but this is the most gloriously uplifting depressive black metal you’ll ever hear. Again. And some of the most inventive too, despite their seemingly nonstop output. Stunning.

7. Smashing Pumpkins – CYR

This might be the last thing on this list released this year, but I don’t think I’ve ever been drip-fed so much of an album for so many months beforehand as we were with this one! I’d have mixed feelings about that with many records, but this one is so much to digest that I think it actually helps appreciate its artistry and creativity. They could so easily have dialled this in too. Very impressive.

8. The Great Old Ones – Cosmicism

Almost a whole year ago this was the first standout album released in 2020! A Lovecraftian lesson in intense but atmospheric and melodic black metal, to the point you could even accuse some of the tracks of being a bit catchy. Or bits of them at least!

9. Human Impact – Human Impact

Wonderful surprise for any Cop Shoot Cop fans! Features members of the band (plus Unsane and Swans), and is as close as we’ve got to anything new since 1994! Aggressive, no-nonsense alternative noise-rock that is more than the sum of its parts, but if you’re a fan of any of them it’s exactly what you’ve been waiting for.

10. Dawn of Ashes – The Antinomian

Bombastic industrial metal like you used to get in its heyday. Nothing groundbreaking or even especially clever here, just a really good time to be had with some brilliantly composed and produced mega-melodies, big beats and stadium-sized evil.

Curiouser Top Ten Movies of 2020

Would any of these be here in a normal year? Some of them, but beggars can’t be choosers and it’s not been a normal year for movies, more-so than any other art-form, so shine on you crazy diamonds!

1. The Lighthouse
The main thing I like is that this is black and white, like a proper horror film! And I like that it’s about a lighthouse because I like a creepy lighthouse yarn. And I very much liked director Eggers’ debut The Witch. Five years or so on from that, he now gifts us the most intense, bleak and atmospheric take on two nineteenth century lighthouse keepers descending into madness that you’ll ever see. A thing of stark, dark beauty.

2. Uncle Peckerhead
Great gore from the very first second in this modern-day B-movie horror comedy about a vaguely punky-type band on the road for the first time, with a roadie who becomes a man-eater for thirteen minutes every night. And a headline act called Pissface! Loads of blood, a believable young band on a very believable tour, and overall a nice slickly intentional eighties low-budget feel. The comedy bit isn’t too offensive either, though all the blood is funnier!

3. Vampires vs The Bronx
I didn’t expect this to be so much fun! Modern-day spin on The Lost Boys that’s filmed like an episode of Miami Vice, but in New York. Actually, it’s like that episode of Miami Vice in the first season where they go to New York, but with vampires instead of Don Johnson no-socks shenanigans. Anyway, a surprisingly likeable group of kids battle urban gentrification. And you can guess who’s behind the money! It’s a lighthearted, well filmed and well scripted easy watch that’s definitely worth your 90 minutes or so.

4. Sea Fever
Sci-fi horror suspense with a marine biology student stuck on an old fishing boat that’s stuck in the middle of the Atlantic with a parasite on the loose in its water supply picking off the crew. Slow burner, and a reasonably familiar tale, but creates a cool atmosphere of it own in the confines of a ship in the vastness of the sea.

5. Color Out of Space
As much as I’m a fan of H.P. Lovecraft’s literature, I’ve never been much of a fan of any movie adaptations. The grand, unlimited horror just doesn’t really work when it’s relying on the limits of cinema (and often the low-budget kind) as opposed to your unlimited imagination. This film seems aware of that, and so throws Nicolas Cage into the mix to push its crazy weirdness over the edge! A very stylishly out of control couple of hours.

6. Spell
I’m a big fan of nasty, witchy Voodoo-Hoodoo stuff, not such a fan of lazy social commentary, but the Appalachian backdrop lends a sinister atmosphere that pushes you right through that, as well as some of the more occult-by-numbers plot points here. Rich black guy and his family crash land their plane on the way to his abusive dad’s funeral, he wakes up in old Hoodoo lady’s attic, then it’s a race against time to save his family from her blood moon Hoodoo ritual plans for them. That’s when things go nuts, with loads of really good-looking squelchy, bloody absurdity in the midst of all the creepy props and lots of bad weather! Ignore the forced socio-politics and just enjoy that blood and skin Boogity and all of its brilliantly shot dark folk magic fun!

7. Bloodshot
There’s a charm to Bloodshot, similar to the charm you’d find in stuff you’d hire from a video shop in the eighties because everything you actually wanted was already out. Like Hawk the Slayer. But unlike Hawk the Slayer, here we have Vin Diesel as a back from the dead super-soldier. And Guy Pearce in the only role that’s interested me since he faced off against Mrs Mangel in Neighbours! It’s predictable, big, dumb fun.

8. Ouija Shark
Without doubt this is one of the worst movies ever made, so deserves to here for that alone! You’ll spend half an hour wondering why you haven’t switched it off yet, then the flying ghost shark appears (in the style of a terrible Slimer from Ghostbusters) and goes on the most lame special effects rampage you’ll ever see, and from that point on you can’t take your eyes off it! I’m not sure if my favourite part is the gentle jog through the woods (that’s right!) to escape the shark, or the set of tarot cards that come out for a mystical kitchen scene that seem to have been downloaded from the internet and printed out! Or the worst acting you can imagine (but if you’ve ever played Silent Hill 2, you’re on the right lines) as a police officer shuns a woman trying to report her lost daughter missing… Or when they make a point of zooming in on his card as he hands it over so she can contact him, but just seems to be a blank bit of paper…  Or the Ikea oversized-bulb light crystal ball… Or… well, then it gets really bonkers! What a movie!

9. Coven
Hot gothy lesbian witches in skimpy bits of leather and lace doing naughty magic is pretty much all you need to know about this. I’m sure it’s all very empowering and stuff too! They’re trying to raise an ancient witch, but get a bit carried away with the ritual and one of them gets knocked-off in the process. This leaves them a witch short, and the hunt for a new one ends up in all kinds of occult violence about town. It’s a lot of The Craft with a dollop of Charmed and Suspiria on the side, which means a bit of something for everyone to feast their eyes on.

10. Aquaslash
High-school graduates hire out a sleazy water park for a weekend of partying. Cool slow-mo gore, bikini car washes and obnoxious characters getting what they deserve, one after the other on the water slide of death… these idiots never learn, thank goodness! Anyway, it’s ridiculous, it’s only about seventy minutes long (all other movies please take note) and the bloodbath in the last ten makes it all worthwhile!

Greg Hildebrandt Red Sonja Star Wars Art

A long time ago in 1977, artist Greg Hildebrandt was commissioned to make some theatrical poster artwork for a film called Star Wars. It looked a bit like this…

Fast-forward to right here, right now, and Dynamite has commissioned him to pay tribute to it with some new cover art for the wonderful, wonderful Red Sonja. And that looks like this wonderful homage!

Match Made in Heaven – Helly von Valentine’s Vampirella

We do love Helly almost as much as we love Vampirella, and those bits of red string combined with those, er, other bits are simply out of this world. Just enjoy, then check out Helly on Twitter @HellyValentine or everywhere else from here.

Maid of Might’s Harley Quinn

I’m not massively into Harley Quinn, but Maid of Might has absolutely nailed her here. And I have nothing more to say so be sure to check her out on Instagram for more goodies.